1. |
kaptain kurt
02:49
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I'm gonna kill myself
I'm gonna end my life
fuck have I been waiting for
I'm doing that shit tonight
I'll use a foolproof method
I'll make sure it gets done
I'll make sure that my parents
No longer will have a son
I got High expectations
I got low self esteem
I wanna bake a cake but
I got no recipes
Yes I can read a cook book
But I don't understand
So I'll just kill myself
Now that's a fucking plan
Never been a better time to end this bitter path of mine
I've given all of my supply I'll always be a bust
Everything I've ever tried has given me a pass to die
Been ran around and taken down so yes I'm giving up
Guess I'll give a fuck when I'm a breath away from death I may regret the way I leapt to paint and dress the pavement floor
Guess I'll finish up and say the rest of my confessions may I rest and lay my head today I'm raving nevermore
I'm never having children
Too busy raising hell
I'll never make it
I was born to die and raised to fail
I've got no motivation
I got no goals or plans
So I'll just kill myself
Die like a fucking man
I don't know what you want from me
I'm in no shape for suffering
I don't think you should stay to see. x2
(1) gotta go there's no space for me
(2)Geronimo here I go I'm free
Cyanide I need Cyanide
Sayonara my silent sighs
I'm signing off I see the shining light
I'm hearing silent night but where's jesus christ
Flaw in design
Awful at best
Caught in a big psychological mess
I'm a drop below shit
I'm a blob of distress
I've no reason to live
I'm a hop from my death
I'm a show with no depth
All I know is regret
I'm a foe and a faux
I'm all no with no yes
I am broken and soaked in
Emotional stress
All I hope is to float
Into motionlessness
With folks stepping over my body
Ain't nobody takin steps inside of my shoes
I'm unlikely to be exercised of this try me
I probably got a hex the size of this room
And I'm sorry for the mess i left
I let stress prevent my best efforts
Rest i must soon
Ain't no stopping this depression
unless I let death in
Destiny's delt her hand
And I'm through
Boom
Cyanide I need Cyanide
Sayonara my silent sighs
I'm signing off I see the shining light
I'm hearing silent night but where's jesus christ
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2. |
over the bridge
05:01
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Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like I've let down all my friends
I'm just shitty at living
I'm shitty and unstable
Lonely oh I can just lay down and die
Wish I was anybody but me
I'm tired of being ugly
I'm tired of making changes just to make some people love me
All this trying to be famous got these
Lies living above me
Imma drive into a lake my ego
Strapped into the front seat
He won't get away from me
Then he won't get away bump free
I won't spend my days running
From this dope that has become me
I Know that doom is coming
And you soon will find a hung me
Cuz the sooner I summon peace
Is the sooner I can run free
A loser I'm a scumbag
Broke and usually hungry
Mostly useless a dummy
Made no improvements
It's stunning
I'm stupid
I'm just a human making gloomy music
I'd rather be found in a ditch dead than continue to do this
No matter how much I spit i just keep on swallowing mucus
I'll be hollow inside while yall keep on following movements
Cannot swallow my pride when
I'veI still got tongue left to chew
And i can't unborrow this body
There's only one thing to do
I'm an enemy
I am my worst enemy
I am my worst enemy
...fuck it...
I will defeat this evil even if it means kicking the bucket
Fuck you and fuck me
Fuck doing and fuck being
Fuck faking I'm leaving
For fucks sake
I don't need this
Im frustrated
Beneath it
I'm takin a breather from breathing
Believe it or not
I'm Retreating to be in a box
So be it
me and my weaknesses
Little mental diseases
That griddle bits of my brain til I scribble
Shit I don't mean it's
A chemical imperfection apparently
I'm in need of more chemicals
To intercept all the pitiful misery
So this is to all the beautiful bitches
I'll never date
the kids that I'll never have
The food that I'll never taste
The places I'll never visit
Vacation I'll never take
wife that I'll never marry
The records I'll never break
I'm stepping into the matrix
Accepting my pepper spray
No medicine can erase this
A leper I'd rather stay
a detriment to the earth
It was never prepared to make
Farewell and take care
I'm off to make the world A better place
Enemy
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3. |
why? (therapy)
02:26
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4. |
it's not that
01:24
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5. |
let go
03:02
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(I know I can can yes I can can)
Insecurities blend sense and impurities
Risk slits to the wrist
And a fist clinched to the mirror me
Spending my days in fear of me
Women they disappear on me
Gripping what isn't here so let go
I Used to give myself a zero
Or even below
Even when I'm getting high
I still tend to be low
Never felt the need to try
And be a decent negro
Everything that I admired lied in things and people
In dire need of peepholes
To see the signs so deep inside
Man what a sight to behold
I'm jeepers creepsing my entire life
I'd like a sequel
I'd like some plot upheaval
I'd like to see myself as more than less than not an equal
Them thoughts are lethal
My past dig up like excavation
I'm trying to beat and pass my autonomic expectations
Hate myself more than people that used to love me do
Which makes the ones that love me now wanna run from me too
Thought I'd get big when I was young kinda like honey boo
Boo hoo oh wo is me I nurse with rhymes like mummy goose
I quit the rum and goose still don't know where I'm running to
Or who Im running from, myself I guess that much I knew
Grew up with people that had shit
Had me thinkin that that shit
Was the reason them bastards
Always had chicks
My parents aren't that rich
That's how they used to speak
As I put seven bucks in my lunch account for the week
But lunch is three bucks a day
I've Become a charity case
Better get me a job
No time for study or play
Now the money I make
Ain't enough for sunnier days
Count down to self destruction
This body no wish to stay
I'm probably a wish a way from
Becoming a miscarriage
Such self disdain should inspire
Some better parents
I'm better suited alone and
away from my heritage
No I don't need a hug
And no I don't need a therapist
No I don't need a home, a wife, kids or inheritance
No I don't need your sympathy
That just causes embarrassment
Know that self hatred isn't right for the kids
If love you're tryin to give
You should just die and let live, bye
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6. |
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7. |
failure
02:52
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I'm here to help you I feel like you need it
Tighten that belt I can still hear you breathing
Kick off those shoes so your feet miss the floor
It'll Probably be weeks til they beat in the door
So just take all the time you need don't mess this up
But Put pep in your step i got more minds to fuck
Make like your exes and leave with the quickness
Make like your efforts and be nonexistent
leave all that bitchin and leave all them worries
I'll lead you to victory free from uncertainty
Free me and you from this you that ain't me
Go down the road don't cross the street
I'm so tired of being myself
Oh did I mention your past is pathetic
That light that's flickering that's where you headed
Yes Life's a bitch and you got her genetics
Man I might kick that stool after I finish
Oh you have no business in anyone's life
No You can't be selfish man you had your time
No don't you step down don't grab me and cry
Because Just like your neck oh my hands are tied
You don't have to be happy don't have to endure
Don't have to bend backwards backpack or explore
Don't have to enact your sad past anymore
Just have to end that which has trapped you in doors
Oh you bastard you hack don't you pack up that knife
You have to get back on your path to the sky
You have failed at beginning your stint to survive
Now you've failed at ending your own life
I'm so tired of being myself
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